Your Secret Admirer
by rossandrachelforever
Summary: Set in Lincoln High. Rachel has a huge crush, but on who? Chapter 3 now up
1. Default Chapter

Your Secret Admirer  
  
As usual, none of these characters belong to me, and I mean no infringement on property.  
She watched him intently as he passed by her in the hallway, a big smile played upon her lips. She felt herself flush as he returned the smile. She burrowed her head in her blue locker, to keep anyone from noticing. Monica, her best friend, noticed.  
"You are so the smitten kitten!" Monica exclaimed, loving how she was making her best friend blush.  
"I am not! And besides, he's your brother!" Rachel said back at Monica.  
"You're in love with my brother!" Monica said in a singsong voice, jumping around.  
"I am not! And oh my god SHUSH!" Rachel said looking around to make sure that no one heard.  
"He's the biggest geek in school! How can you like him?" Monica asked incredulously.   
"I don't know. He's just so sexy. And he's smart! I love that in a guy…" Rachel finished, totally whipped.  
"Maybe I should tell him…" Monica said teasingly.  
"Please don't Monica! I'll kill you if you do!" Rachel begged  
"Okay. Maybe not this time. Do you want to come over tonight for dinner and watch him some more?"   
"Yes! I mean sure." Monica laughed at Rachel's obsession. Rachel was what you described as beautiful. She had long golden blond hair, with large green eyes. She had a large nose, but was getting it reduce. She could have any guy in the school. She was only in grade 11, but any guy in grade 12 or college would be lucky to have her.   
Ross liked Rachel, as a friend. She was nice to her sister, when no one else would be. Monica was overweight, but Rachel had helped her lose almost 30 pounds now. Sure, Rachel was beautiful, but Ross didn't go for girls like her. They would never be interested in guys like him. Ross was in grade 12, and already had a girlfriend. Her name was Mili. She was also in grade 12, and had short blond hair, and was the smartest girl in his class! Ross liked smart girls, it was always a turn on. When he passed by Rachel in the hall, he was surprised that she was smiling up at him. He nodded at Monica as he passed, and heard Monica laughing, at his back.   
The bell for class rang, and Rachel slammed her locker door shut. She grabbed Monica's hand and pulled her through the hallways, running to class, before they locked them out, and marked them late.  
That same day after school, Rachel and Monica exited their school, and headed out to the bus stop, so they could get back to Monica's house. They heard guys whistling at them, well, at Rachel, but they both ignored them. Rachel and Monica talked while they stood at the bus stop. A couple of 16 year olds, gabbing and gossiping about the latest news.   
Suddenly, Ross pulled up beside them.   
"Hey Mon!" Ross said "Hey Rach."  
Rachel felt herself blush again. God, she wished that she had control over that. It seemed to happen every time he spoke to her.  
"Mon, get in." Ross smiled. "Where you headed, Rach?"  
"Actually, she's coming to our house. She's going to stay for dinner." Monica replied   
"Well, in that case, get in too." Ross told her.   
Monica got into the backseat so that Rachel would have a chance to talk to her brother.  
Rachel climbed in beside Ross, and gasped when he reached for the shift, which was right beside her leg.  
"Are you all right?" Ross joked easily.  
"Yeah." Rachel said. Looking down at her hands. (V.O) "Rach, just be yourself, just talk to him, you don't get many chances like this!"  
Monica heard the uncomfortable silence, and suggested that Ross turn on the radio.  
"Good idea." Ross said as he reached out to turn it on.  
The radio blasted, and Rachel reached to turn it down, and accidentally touched Ross's hand, who was also reaching for the volume.   
"S-sorry." Rachel muttered as she quickly withdrew her hand.  
"What for?" Ross asked laughing.  
"I don't know." Rachel laughed with him, easing the tension.  
"So what did you girls do in school today?"  
"Not much really." Rachel answered.  
"Mon, does Mom know that Rachel's coming over? I've got Mili coming over, and she might not like a lot of people." Ross said simply, trying hard not to make Rachel feel unwanted.  
"I'm sure it'll be okay."  
Rachel wasn't listening to the last part of Ross' sentence, she just kept thinking, "Who's Mili?"  
She decided to ask Ross what was on her mind.  
"Who's Mili?"  
"Oh, that's my girlfriend. She's really cool."   
Rachel felt herself sink into the leather seat.  
Monica cleared her throat.   
"Ross, um open the window, would ya?" Monica asked him  
"Sure." Ross opened the windows all the way, and let the cool air get rid of the heat in the car.   
They drove in silence all the way back to their house.  
"Thanks for the ride Ross." Monica said gratefully  
"Yeah thanks." Rachel answered absentmindedly.  
Once Monica and Rachel were up in Monica's room, Rachel closed the door and started hitting Monica, angrily, while Monica laughed.  
"Why didn't you tell me?" Rachel exploded  
"Because, you have a crush, it's no big deal."  
Ross stood listening outside of Monica's bedroom, trying to figure out who they were talking about.  
"It is a big deal to me! You know how much I like him. You should've told me." Rachel said sullenly.  
"Yeah I know. I'm sorry. Next time he has a girlfriend, I will absolutely tell you." Monica laughed as she ran away from Rachel, who was already chasing her.  
"Thanks Mon." Rachel said sarcastically. "So, how much weight have you lost so far?"  
"34 pounds!" Monica said proudly "In 4 months though."  
"So, it's progress!"  
Ross started to leave, wondering who it was that they were talking about, when Monica came out of her bedroom and saw him standing there.  
"Ross! What are you doing?"   
"Nothing much." He said coyly.  
"Were you listening to our conversation?" Monica demanded him to answer.  
"Maybe"  
"Ross! What did you hear?" Monica said hitting him hard across his arm.  
"That Rachel is nuttsy about some guy who has a girlfriend." Ross answered looking at Rachel who looked up at him horrified.  
"Do you know who it is?" Monica asked.  
"No I didn't hear you say anything else." He answered genuinely.  
Monica and Rachel both let out sighs of relief.  
"Why who is it?"  
"No one!" They both snapped at once  
"Okay." Ross said puzzled as he walked away.  
Monica ran out into the hallway after Ross.  
"Ross!" Monica whispered. "It's you!" She said before running back to her room.  
"It's me?" Ross asked loudly.  
"You told him?" Rachel exploded at Monica who had heard Ross in the hallway.  
"No! Maybe! Yes…"  
"I cannot believe you! Thanks a lot Monica." Rachel said as she rushed out of the house.  
"She likes me?" Ross asked confused.  
"Yeah, she has a huge obsession with you, okay?" Monica answered distractedly.  
Ross sat down on Monica's bed, while Monica went after Rachel. "How could Rachel like me?" Ross thought to himself. "She's gorgeous, she's sexy, she's nice… Any guy would be lucky to have her. He just wished that he had known earlier, as he was graduating in only a week, and would be heading to NYU right after. Ross plopped down on Monica's bed, totally oblivious to what was happening around him, and thinking about Rachel.  
One year later  
Ross had just come back from NYU, having just finished his finals. He had only come back home 3 times this year, at Thanksgiving, Christmas, and Easter. He was disappointed to hear that Monica and Rachel were no longer good friends. After the incident that had happened about a year ago, they didn't really speak much. He was sorry that he had ruined their friendship, but he couldn't do anything about it. He had only seen Monica, since he had come home. He had to admit, she looked amazing. She had lost all the extra weight on herself, and looked thin and beautiful. He drove along the highway, enjoying the feeling of the wind in his hair. He had a nice car. A 1969 Mustang convertible. He pulled the top down, and blasted the music on. It was a really hot day, with the sun grueling down, so hot, it was making the sidewalks and roads steam. Suddenly, he saw a woman bent over the hood of her car on the shoulder of the road, and decided to pull over to help her. He turned off the engine of his car, and approached her slowly. She was wearing long blue denim jeans, with a denim top, that cut off a few inches below her breasts. She looked great, with long blond hair creeping down her back, and a tanned tummy, and body.  
"Hi!" Ross said timidly as he stepped up beside her. "Do you need any help?"  
She turned around. "No, I think I've got it under control.  
"Oh my god! Rachel?" Ross asked surprised.  
"Ross! It's been so long!" Rachel said hugging him.  
Ross breathed in her smell. A mix of sweat, perfume and shampoo. He loved it.  
"I know! God, you look so, so different!" Ross said noticing that she had a much smaller and cuter nose.  
"I know. It's the nose isn't it?" Rachel said crinkling her nose up and laughing as she leaned against the front of her car.  
"Yeah I guess that's it!"   
"You look different too now." Rachel said squinting up at him. "No afro, no mustache. You look good." She added blushing.  
He loved it when she blushed, she looked so cute. "I finally realized that I wasn't cool, and just changed it around." Ross said talking now about his short spiky hair and his bare upper lip.  
"It was so nice to see you again! How is NYU? I'm considering going there next year."  
"Considering? It's June! You should have picked a college a while ago." Ross said.  
"Yeah, I know. I want to do something in fashion, and I don't know where to go for that."  
"I see. Are you sure you don't need help with your car?" Ross asked.  
A guy in a convertible passed by Rachel whistling, and she rolled her eyes.  
"So immature." She said. She was only 17 or 18, but she seemed a lot older.  
Ross reached down and tried to help her with her car.  
"Don't!" Rachel warned as he stuck his hand into the engine, trying to see what was wrong.  
Ross motioned her not to worry, but he felt a blast of warm liquid squirt up onto his face. He looked up at Rachel, who was unsuccessfully trying to keep from laughing, but couldn't manage. She burst into giggles, as she reached in, and closed the leak with a cap.   
"There you go." Rachel said still laughing.  
Ross joined in and felt stupid.  
"Don't worry." Rachel assured. "I was exactly like that before I took my auto class."  
"You take auto?" Ross asked incredulously   
"Sure. I needed to do something different. Can you start up the car while I fiddle with this?"  
"Yep." Ross got in, and tried to start the car, but it wouldn't start.  
Rachel leaned under the hood once again, and asked Ross again, to try to start the car. This time it worked.  
"Congratulations." Ross laughed as he wiped the oil off of his face with his shirt.  
"Thanks. Now your shirts all black." Rachel laughed.  
"Eh. Doesn't matter."   
"Well, thanks for stopping and helping me out. It was great seeing you again." Rachel's voice trailed off as she realized that she didn't want to say goodbye.  
"You want to go for a cup of coffee or something?" Ross asked  
"Are you asking me out?   
"Maybe." Ross answered.  
"You know how embarrassing that was for me last year when you found out I liked you?"  
"Well, I guess now we're even, because I really like you." Ross said, not believing that he had just said that.  
"Really? Now you know how I felt last year when you had a girlfriend, because I have a boyfriend." Rachel said simply, her eyes laughing at him.  
"Oh." Ross said feeling immediately stupid.   
"I'm just joking!" Rachel laughed as she touched him on the arm. Tingles shot up and down Ross's arm, as she withdrew her hand and smiled at him, her green eyes sparkling.  
"So, what do you say?" Ross asked timidly.  
"Well, I have to get to my dad's house now… I was supposed to be there…" Rachel paused to glance at her watch. "A half an hour ago."  
"Well, what about Friday night?"   
"You mean tomorrow?" Rachel asked.  
"Yeah, tomorrow." Ross answered.  
"That would be great." Rachel smiled, and opened her car door. She reached into the glove compartment and pulled out a pen. "Just in case Monica doesn't still have my number, I'll give you it." Rachel wrote her number down neatly across the back of Ross's hand. He looked at it.  
"555-0104?" Ross asked.  
"Yeah. Call anytime." Rachel said climbing into her car.  
"Okay thanks."  
Ross watched as Rachel drove away quickly. She seemed so different then she was the year before. She didn't seem as spoiled or conceited, but more refined and sweet. He smiled as he looked at the number scrawled across the back of his hand, and wondered what Monica would have to say. He realized that he didn't care. He liked Rachel a lot, and hoped that she felt the same way  
  
  
Thanks for reading! Please take the time to put some nice comments in the box below, because I love reviews! Let me know if I should continue or not!  
rossandrachelforever  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  



	2. Love Always

Love Always  
  
Ross watched as she drove off, and continued watching long after she had disappeared. A big smile spread across his face, when he realized that he liked her. If she had been this way the year before, he would have definitely gone out with her. He hummed quietly as he stopped staring at the open road. He climbed into the car, and sat for a minute, just staring at the radio. He started the car slowly, and pushed down the pedal, leaving a trail of burnt rubber on the side of the road. He turned up the radio, and listened to the familiar beats of one of his favorite songs pumping out of the speakers at the sides of his car.  
  
Tonight I feel ambitious  
And so does my foot   
as it sinks on the pedal  
I press it to the floor  
I don't need a friend  
Cause my friends lonesome's unconditional  
We're flying forever bored  
And for a moment I love everything  
That I see and think and feel  
I love my broken side view mirror  
Cause it's so perfect  
I'm so perfect   
You're so perfect   
You're not here  
I hear the change in gears  
  
My pile shakes as   
I hit eighty on the open road  
This is an open road song  
  
The night is beckoning although   
I have nowhere to go but home  
Feels good to be alone  
With every turn comes a new frame of mind   
If I could frame my mind   
Where would it hang  
  
My pile shakes as   
I hit eighty on the open road  
My pile shakes as   
I hit eighty on the open road  
My pile shakes as   
I hit eighty on the open road  
This is an open road song  
  
I crack a window and feel the cool air cleanse my every pore  
As I pour my heart out  
To a radio song that's patient and willing to listen  
My volume drowns it out  
But that's o.k.  
Cause I sound better then him anyway any day  
Yeah my voice is sweet as salt  
I search for comfort and I find it where I've found it many times before  
Times before can be forgotten   
  
My pile shakes as   
I hit eighty on the open road  
My pile shakes as   
I hit eighty on the open road  
My pile shakes as   
I hit eighty on the open road  
This is an open road song  
  
He grinned as he changed gears and road off into the now fading sunlight. He wanted to get home and see his family before dark, and try to help Monica and Rachel make peace.  
  
He slowed down once he reached the off ramp, and rode into a residential area. He saw his house looming ahead, and parked neatly in front. He paused for a second and took a deep breath, before he went in to greet his family for the first time in four months. He knocked on the door, and laughed when he saw Monica's eager face answer the door.  
  
"Ross!" She screamed as she hugged him violently.  
"Must… Breath!" Ross choked out jokingly.  
Monica punched him lightly.  
"Ross darling!" Judy smiled as she gave her son a quick kiss on the cheek.  
"Hey mom. Hey dad." Ross smiled.  
It felt good to be home. He watched as his parents and his baby sister chattered insistently. He smiled. Very good to be home.  
  
The next day, Ross rolled out of bed. It was already almost noon. They had all stayed up late last night and talked for hours after a large Geller dinner. He had to call Rachel and ask what time she wanted him to pick her up.  
He rubbed his eyes tiredly, and looked at the back of his hand. The number was still there, but it was a little faded. Ross picked up the phone beside him, and dialed.  
"Hello?" Came a voice at the other end of the line.  
"Hi, is Rachel there"? Ross asked  
"Yeah, that's me." She answered  
"This is the New York City police. We saw you yesterday robbing a grocery store in the village, and we would like you to come down to the department as soon as possible." Ross said in a disguised voice.  
"I-I don't know what you're talking about… You must have the wrong number…" Rachel said uncertainly. Ross could tell that she was scared, but he couldn't contain his laughter any longer.  
"Ross!" Rachel screamed at the other end of the line. The anger quickly turned into amusement as she started laughing along with him. This just made Ross laugh harder, until he could no longer control himself.   
Monica sat in her room when she suddenly heard Ross start to laugh hysterically. She got up and looked at him through the crack in his door.  
"I-I'm sorry." Ross laughed into the phone. "I couldn't resist."  
There was a pause as Ross listened to the person at the other end of the line. He laughed again.  
"Oh, and how are you planning to get me back?" He laughed. "Uh-huh." He said as he again listened to the person on the other line. "So, when do you want me to pick you up?" He paused  
" Okay, all right I'll see you then. Bye Rachel."  
Monica's mouth dropped open, and she squinted in anger. Her brother was going out with Rachel? She didn't have a problem with her, but Rachel definitely didn't like her. She saw Ross start to get up off of his bed, so she quietly crept away, back into her room.  
  
The day breezed by for Ross, as he spent time with his family and old friends who he hadn't seen for a long time. When the time came to get ready for his date, he ran upstairs to the bathroom to take a quick shower, but was stopped by Monica.  
  
"Why are you going out with her?" Monica asked upset.  
Ross sighed and turned his head away.  
"I like her. She likes me."  
"So?" Monica asked stubbornly.  
"Look, I really like her, and I don't even see why you guys aren't friends anymore. When you told me that she liked me, it worked out for the better. We're going out now."   
Monica smiled slightly, but hid it with a pout, "Tell her that then."  
"I will, Mon. I just have to get ready." Ross said gesturing to the bathroom  
"Okay." Monica smiled as she hugged her brother and went downstairs.  
Ross quickly jumped into the shower, and let the warm water run over his tanned body. He glanced at the clock on the wall, and saw that he had to leave in a half-hour. He grabbed a towel, and dried himself off. He walked to his bedroom in his towel, and pulled out some clothes. He needed to find out what to wear. Needless to say, he didn't know that Rachel was going through the exact same thing.  
  
"What should I wear?" Rachel asked her two sisters who she had lined up in her room to help her find something.  
"Go for the white sundress." Jill said simply, pointing to a dress in her closet.  
"Really?"   
"Yeah. Definitely." Jill answered automatically. "Can we go now?"  
Rachel sighed heavily and ushered them out the door as she grabbed the sundress, and began to get dressed.  
  
Ross was still trying to figure out what to wear, and decided to go with a light blue dress shirt, and khaki pants. He ran to the washroom to do his hair, only to discover that there was no gel.  
"Aw shit!" Ross exclaimed as he looked under the sink and came up with nothing.  
"What?" Monica asked from her bedroom.  
"There's no stupid gel!" Ross lashed out vehemently   
"Here, then use some hairspray, it will keep your hair spiked and together." Monica said coming out of her bedroom and handing him a can.  
"Thanks." Ross said as he sprayed the stuff into his hair, wrinkling his nose at the smell.  
He grabbed his wallet on his way out, making sure to say bye to both of his parents and his sister.  
"Don't worry Mon, I won't forget to tell her." He said grabbing his keys and checking himself out one more time before he ran out the door.  
He pulled up to her house right on time, and saw her coming out the door.  
He honked the horn, and smiled as she turned around. She looked really sophisticated in a long white sundress. She smiled and climbed into the car.  
"You ready?" Ross asked.  
Rachel touched his arms, and he felt the electricity pumping through his body from the small touch.  
"Ready." She answered.  
Ross turned on the radio, and they both heard a song that they liked. They both reached for the volume, and they both laughed.  
"I remember that." Ross said looking at her with his hands still on the keys that were in the ignition.  
"You remember what?"  
"That day about a year ago. I was driving you and Monica home, and we both reached for the volume."  
Rachel blushed as she remembered that day. Ross smiled and started to pull out of her driveway, now turning up the radio. He nodded his head in time to the music, and saw Rachel laughing at him from the corner of his eye. He laughed along with her, and turned the radio up more, so that it was pulsing through the car.  
  
In the car I just can't wait  
To pick you up on our very first date  
Is it cool if I hold you hand?  
Is it wrong if I think it's lame to dance?  
Do you like my stupid hair?  
Would you guess that I didn't know what to wear?  
I'm just scared of what you think  
You make me nervous so I really can't eat  
  
Let's go  
Don't wait  
The nights almost over  
Honest, let's make this night last forever.  
Forever and ever  
Let's make this last forever  
Forever and ever.  
Let's make this last forever  
  
When you smile, I melt inside  
I'm not worthy for a minute of your time  
I really wish it was only me and you.  
I'm jealous of everybody in the room.  
Please don't look at me with those eyes  
Please don't hint that you're capable of lies  
I dread the thought of our very first kiss  
A target that I'm probably gonna miss  
  
Let's go  
Don't wait  
The nights almost over  
Honest, let's make this night last forever.  
Forever and ever  
Let's make this last forever  
Forever and ever.   
Let's make this last forever  
  
Rachel reached over and put her hand on his, which sat on the gear stick. He smiled over at her, and continued driving her to the restaurant that he was taking her too.  
  
After dinner that night, once Ross drove up to her house, he began thinking when the next time he should call her would be. The date had gone great, and they had clicked. He had a feeling that she sensed it too. Rachel started to get out of the car, but Ross stopped her, running out to the passenger side and opening up the door. She took his hand as he walked her to the door.  
  
"Thank you for a perfect evening." Rachel grinned as she took out her house keys.  
"Just so I know," Ross started clearing his throat, "Since it was perfect, does that mean that you would like to see me again?"  
Rachel leaned over and kissed him slowly.  
"I think that answers your question." She said  
"Okay so no then." Ross said faking disappointment.  
Rachel punched him lightly. "You know I mean yes."  
"Okay. Phew!" Ross joked. "Um, listen I kinda wanted to talk to you about something, so hear me out."  
"All right." Rachel said unsure.  
"Monica… She wants to know what's wrong. She said that it's a good thing she told me because now we're dating, and she doesn't want you to be mad at her…" Ross said nervously.  
"I'm not mad at her!" Rachel laughed. "Tell her that I'm very sorry I acted that way, and that I'd love to see her again."  
"Wow. That was easier then I thought. I thought you'd bring out like, a chainsaw, and chase me around the yard or something." Ross joked again.  
Rachel started to punch him again, but Ross caught her arm and kissed her quickly.  
She felt herself blush again.  
"Goodnight, Ross."  
"Bye Rach." Ross said as he skipped off to his car. This night just couldn't get any better.  
  
Over the next 2 months, Ross and Rachel saw each other every day. They knew that they would have to part ways in the fall, so they decided not to consummate their relationship. What Ross didn't know though, was that Rachel had secretly applied to NYU. She didn't want Ross to be disappointed if she didn't make it, and she wanted it to be a surprise if she did. One day, one week before Ross had to leave, Rachel came over to his house to talk to him.  
  
"Ross?" Rachel called through the open screen door.  
"Rachel!" Monica said answering the door. Rachel and Monica hugged, as Rachel asked where Ross was.  
"He's in his room." Monica answered.  
"Thanks." Rachel said starting up the stairs.  
"I'll see you later I'm going out, and tell Ross that mom and dad will be back later tonight" Monica said leaving the house.  
Monica and Rachel had made up and become best of friends the day after Ross and Rachel's first date. They had both apologized and cried as Ross looked on laughing.   
  
Rachel climbed up the stairs, and once she reached his room knocked quietly.  
"Come in!" Ross called out from his bedroom  
"Hey!" Rachel said as she walked over him to give him a quick peck.  
"Hey babe. I can't believe I'm leaving in a week." Ross said sadly  
Rachel smiled to herself, and didn't realize that Ross was watching her.  
"What? Are you happy that I'm leaving?" He asked glumly  
"No! Honey, I just came to show you something." Rachel said pulling a piece of paper out of her back pocket. She handed it to Ross, and watched as his face lit up while he read.  
"You got in? You got in to NYU?" Ross screamed as he ran over to hug her.  
"Yeah! Daddy pulled a few strings, and they accepted me! I can keep seeing you!" Rachel answered excitedly.  
Ross picked her up and kissed her softly. Rachel kissed back and before they knew it, they were on Ross's bed making out.  
They paused to look into each other's eyes  
"Are you sure about this, Rachel?" Ross asked gently.  
"I've never been more sure of anything." Rachel responded, kissing Ross passionately  
They fell back onto his bed, totally oblivious to anything in the world except for themselves.  
  
Hours later, Ross and Rachel lay under the covers wrapped up in each others warmth, when they heard Judy and Jack come home.  
  
"Ross!" Judy yelled up the stairs.  
"Hold on a sec mom!" Ross called down, trying frantically to get dressed while Rachel did the same.  
They got dressed hurriedly, and Ross went downstairs while Rachel took a minute to fix her hair up. A big goofy grin spread across her face, and she had never felt this good. She was now an official non-virgin. She didn't feel bad, because she had lost her virginity to someone she loved.  
"I love Ross?" She asked herself quietly. She then realized that he did. She loved him so much, that she wouldn't know what to do without him. She slowly started downstairs to greet his parents while her smile was still spread across her face.  
  
"Mom, she's coming to NYU!" Rachel heard Ross tell his parents.  
"That's great dear! So, are you going to keep seeing each other?" Judy asked.  
"Of course!" Ross exclaimed without a moment's hesitation.  
"Great. Go get washed up for dinner." Jack said enthusiastically.  
"Okay." Ross said, as he saw Rachel standing in the doorway of the kitchen.  
"Can I talk to you outside for a second?" Rachel asked Ross as she led him out to the front yard.  
"What's up?" Ross asked as he took her hand and led her to swing in the front yard. Rachel sat down, and Ross pushed her gently, listening to her.  
"I had a great time." Rachel smiled  
"I know, me too. Too bad my parents came home, or we could have gone for a third time." Ross teased as he leaned over her shoulder and kissed her neck. The butterfly kisses that he was planting on her neck made her shiver. She got up off the swing and put her arms around her neck and held him close to her.  
"I love you, Ross." She said as she gazed up into his soft brown eyes.  
"I love you too, Rach. I've known that for a long time." He responded as he kissed her lips softly. Judy calling Ross in for dinner suddenly interrupted them.  
"Do you want to eat here?" Ross asked  
"No, I better go home or my parents will start flipping out." Rachel laughed.  
"Okay, I'll see you then." Ross said as he kissed her once more before running inside.  
Rachel watched him run and couldn't help but laugh as he stumbled up the front stairs and went inside the house. She climbed into the car, and headed home.  
  
A week later, Rachel, Ross and Monica were all getting ready to head out to NYU, for another year of school. Monica had been accepted long before Rachel, but they were rooming together in a little place on campus, while Ross's place was just across the courtyard, a two-minute walk at most. Rachel met them both at their house, and waited patiently while they said bye to their parents and hurried to their cars. Ross had his own car, but Monica didn't. Rachel was going to drive her own car up, and Monica was going to come with her, while one of Ross's other buddies was going up with him. Monica had a huge crush on Ross's roommate a guy named Chandler.  
  
Rachel and Monica skipped to the car, and agreed to meet Ross and Chandler at NYU, in Rachel and Monica's dorm.  
  
Once they had reached the dorms, Monica began to unpack, while Rachel waited for Ross to come.   
"Come on! Please unpack Rach! It's driving me crazy!" Monica complained as Rachel lay down on her unmade bed. She had been thinking about Ross nonstop since a week earlier when they had completed their relationship. She was wondering when the next time they would get to be alone would be.  
"Mon! He's going to be here in a minute! I don't want to get started and then get interrupted." Rachel said  
Monica groaned and finished her unpacking, and began to make her bed and hang up pictures. After an hour, Rachel began to get tired of lying down, and decided to unpack. It was 2 hours later before Ross and Chandler came by to pick them up.  
  
"What took so long?" A bored Rachel pouted.  
"Honey, I just went to see a couple of my girlfriends before I came to pick you up!" Chandler joked to Rachel.  
Rachel stuck her tongue out at Chandler and went to kiss Ross.  
"Oh, come on! I don't need to see that!" Monica complained.  
"Yuck. Me neither. Let's get out of here Mon, leave these lovebirds alone." Chandler said grabbing her arm and dragging her out before she could protest. Once the door was closed and they were gone, Rachel and Ross started making out and fell back onto her bed.  
"I can't stop thinking about you since last week" Ross said as he kissed her.  
"I know, me neither." Rachel said returning the kiss.  
"What do you say? We have all day…" Ross said leaving the sentence hanging.  
Rachel grabbed him, and pulled him towards her  
"I'll take that as a yes!" Ross said before he started kissing her.  
  
Later that day, Monica and Chandler had returned, looking for Ross and Rachel, who were already getting ready to go out.  
"Let's get out of here, go get drunk or something." Chandler joked.  
Rachel saw Monica looking up at Chandler with a gleam in her eye. Rachel smiled gently, "Yeah, sure"  
They all exited to go find a party, or somewhere to hang out.  
  
After the first month, Rachel had gotten used to college life, and had memorized her schedule, but something was troubling her.  
  
Ross had noticed that Rachel had been getting distant over the past 3 weeks, and tried constantly to reach out to her. He wanted to know what was wrong because he loved her so much, and couldn't imagine his life without her. He asked Monica, but she claimed that she didn't know anything, and neither did Chandler. Her daily visits had turned into weekly. She said that she was just busy adjusting to college, and doing homework, but Ross knew that that wasn't true.  
  
Ross decided that he needed to know what was wrong. He hadn't seen her in 5 days, hadn't heard from her. She always avoided his calls, never answered the door when he came, even when he knew she was in there. He went over to her dorm and knocked on the door.  
  
"Rachel? Rachel open up it's me." He called out to the door. After a minute where no one answered, he tried opening the door and found that it was unlocked. He pushed it open, and was shocked to see that Rachel's half of the room wasn't there. Her pictures, bed sheets, and books were gone. Ross ran over to her bed, where there was a small envelope. He picked it up and read, Ross.  
He opened it, and realized that his worst fear had come true.  
  
Ross,  
I love you so much, and I always will. I'm sorry, but I have to go. I'm scared, no, I'm terrified. This is moving too fast and I just need some time alone. I love you so, so much. Words cannot express my feelings for you, but this is just too hard for me. Maybe I will see you again some day  
Love always  
Rachel  
  
Ross sank bewildered onto the sheet less bed, grasping for anything that made sense, anything for him to hold on to. His world had just fallen apart.  
Monica and Chandler didn't seem to notice that the door was slightly ajar, because they were kissing. They fell into the room, their lips locked into a passionate kiss, when they saw Ross sitting on the bed.  
"Oh my god." Ross exclaimed.  
"We can explain!" Chandler said, fighting to keep calm.  
Just then, Monica and Chandler noticed that all of Rachel's stuff had disappeared.  
"What happened?" Monica asked quietly  
"She's gone." Ross whispered  
  
  
And that's it for part 2! Please leave a review for this part as well, and check out my other stories too!  
rossandrachelforever.   
P.S. Feel free to make any suggestions, or leave constructive criticism. 


	3. See Again

Hey! I know it's been a while... (LOVE that song) Anyhoo, just haven't really had time between my T.V, work, and friends. (my ACTUAL friends) Well here's the next part to Your Secret Admirer (P.3)   
  
"She's gone." Ross whispered.  
"What are you talking about, man?" Chandler asked.  
Ross handed over the note silently.  
"Oh my god!" Monica said as she covered her mouth with a trembling hand.  
"Bitch." Chandler said crossly.  
"Dude!" Ross snapped at him.  
"Sorry, but I just don't see how she could do that to you." Chandler frowned  
"What the hell happened? I thought you guys were good!" Monica said tearfully.  
"I thought we were. I can't believe this is happening." Ross said collapsing on the bare bed.  
"Hang in there. I'll go see what's happening." Monica ran out.  
Ross lay down and stared blankly through Chandler. His eyes began to well up, but he shook his head, refusing to let the tears out.  
Chandler sat down beside Ross and patted him on the shoulder, causing him to sit up  
"Life sucks. Get used to it." Chandler said comfortingly.  
"No it doesn't! You don't understand what I had with her! Whenever I was around her, I felt as if all the cares in the world were gone, that nobody existed except for us. She was so perfect for me. I fell in love with her on our first date." Ross said.  
"Listen man, she'll call you soon. If not, you can always find out where she is from her parents." Chandler said.  
Monica ran in at that moment. "She didn't tell the headmaster that she was leaving. Nobody knows where she is."  
Ross moaned and buried his head between his arms, shutting them both out.  
  
5 years later.  
"I can't believe you two are getting married. You're only 23 for Christ sakes." Ross commented.  
"Well, we love each other." Monica smiled up at her boyfriend.  
"Well... I-I don't see a ring!" Ross said smartly.  
"And I'm 24." Chandler interrupted.  
"That's because we haven't gone ring shopping yet." Monica answered over Chandler.  
"And you two plan to make a living--- how?" Ross asked  
"I already have a job." Chandler said  
"Doing?"  
"I'm working for this big company as a data processor." Chandler answered glumly while Monica stroked his hair.  
"My point exactly. So, how come you guys snuck around behind my back for a whole year?" Ross complained.  
"Because you broke up with Rachel, and we didn't want you to see too much happiness in the world?" Chandler joked.  
"Haha. Not funny man." Ross said painfully.  
"Yeah, sorry." Chandler said.  
"Listen, don't tell mom, okay? She'll flip out." Monica begged Ross.  
"Yeah, we'll see." Ross joked as he started to get up. "I'm gonna get some coffee and I'll see you guys back home."  
Ross watched as they snuggled in closer to each other once he had turned his back., and sighed. They had been going out for 5 years, it was about time they got married even he had to admit. Monica had just graduated a month ago, and they were celebrating their independence for the first time in their lives. Ross and Chandler had been out for more then a year, and they had both found jobs that they remotely liked. Chandler was on his third job, and he had hated all of them except he had mixed feelings about the current one. This one gave him financial freedom for himself and his future wife, so he had decided to hold on to it for a while longer. Monica still had yet to find a job, and Ross had gotten a job at the Museum of Prehistoric History. He was the only person that he knew who loved his job, and he was happy.  
He ordered a coffee at the front desk and waved goodbye at Chandler and Monica, who didn't seem to notice. He made a face at their backs, and stepped out the door, spilling his coffee on a lady who was on her way in.  
"Oh crap!" Ross said loudly. "I'm am so sorry."  
He looked at her face and turned away quickly.  
"Hey, Mister! You just ruined my shirt, my very expensive shirt!" She yelled at his back.  
He turned back to her, and looked at her coldly.  
"Oh... my god." She said weakly.  
"Oh... my god." Ross imitated her coldly.  
He turned his back to her again, and began to walk away, when she grabbed his arm.  
"Listen, I'm sorry." She said.  
"Oh, you know what Rachel? Sorry doesn't bring back the 4 years that I lost of my life because of you." He said calmly.  
"I was lost! I didn't know what to do!" Rachel sobbed.  
"Fuck you then! You didn't have to ruin my whole life!" He said, his voice rising  
"Well that time apart was very hard for me too!" She yelled at him.  
People around them had started to gather around, watching the fight.  
"Yeah? Then why the hell did you have to go and do it?" Ross yelled back.  
"Because I was pregnant!" Rachel said coldly.  
Ross took a step back, and felt his eyes sting. He had goose bumps all over his body, and it was June. He noticed the crowd gathering around them.  
"What are you looking at? Mind your own business!" Ross yelled. His heart was caught in his throat. He turned around and ran away.   
Rachel watched sadly, and turned around to look at the crowd.   
"I'm sorry you had to see that." Rachel said as she entered the coffee shop.  
  
Later that night, while Ross slept in his bed, he heard the door open silently, and 2 people creep in.   
"Who's there?" He called out.  
"Ross? It's me and Chandler. We need to talk to you." Monica said  
Ross groaned and climbed out of bed.  
"What's up?" He said as he walked groggily out of his bedroom holding his head.  
"Did the beer get to ya?" Chandler laughed.  
"What beer?" Ross asked innocently.  
"That beer." Chandler said pointing to an empty stack of beer bottles.  
"Oh. Those beers." Ross said.  
"Yeah. Listen, we talked to Rachel. She came into the coffeehouse with a little boy in her arms." Monica said.  
"Yeah, well that was probably my son." Ross said.  
"It wasn't." Monica answered.  
"It's not? Then whose is it?" He asked.  
Monica took a deep breath.  
"Her husbands."  
"Oh." Ross said. "Where's my child then?"  
"It's gone." Monica said quietly.  
"What do you mean? She sold it?" Ross asked surprised.  
"No, she lost it." Monica answered.  
"How could she lose a baby?" Ross wondered.  
"Ross! She had a miscarriage. That's why she ran away." Monica said. Her patience with him had run out.  
"Oh." Ross said painfully.  
Chandler put a little piece of paper on his coffee table.   
"Call her tomorrow. She misses you." Monica said, leaving.  
"Yeah? Well I don't miss her!" Ross yelled as he heard the door slam shut. He picked up the little piece of paper and tore it in half, then quarters, then eighths, and threw them back down on the couch.   
"My child was lost? That's why she left?" Ross asked himself angrily.  
He kicked the couch as hard as he could, and screamed as he bent down in pain. He looked around the room, making sure no one was there, and hobbled back to his bedroom.   
  
The next morning he woke to a dull hazy sky. He looked around his pale green bedroom and at his dinosaur wallpaper in confusion. He had the world's biggest hangover, and he had already decided that he was going to do nothing about it. He sat still for a while as the stars began to subside and he gained focus over his eyesight, then he flopped back down on the bed, hitting his head on the wooden frame.  
"Oh crap." He said as he grabbed for his throbbing head. His hair was matted and unwashed, and his face was unshaven, giving him a grungy look. He walked over to the kitchen and opened an oak cabinet above his parent's old refrigerator.   
"I have no aspirin?" Ross questioned himself in disbelief. "How is that possible?"  
He grouchily grabbed his coat from his bedroom and tossed it on over his wrinkled and dirty shirt. He knew he looked like a dead bum, but he didn't care. The rain started to pelt on the window, causing the window to fog up. He felt trapped inside his small apartment, so he ran out the door, slamming it clumsily.   
He walked outside into the rain, and marveled how refreshing it felt against his warm skin. It was warm out, and the rain made it felt cooler. It made him feel refreshed. He decisively ran down the street, but decided he needed to lighten up and enjoy the smaller things in life. He ran up and down the street, hugging unfamiliar people, and waving at passing cars while jumping into puddles like a little boy. Little by little, his headache began to dissipate until he no longer felt anything. People watched him as if he were crazy.  
"Maybe I am crazy." Ross smiled to himself.  
He sat down on a wet bench and tilted his head back to the sky and let the water trickle down his throat.  
"Having a good time?" Someone asked from behind him  
"The best." Ross smiled as he turned around to see Rachel.  
"I'm sorry." Rachel said.  
"No, I am. I had absolutely no idea what you were going through and I immediately judged you. It's just that-it was my baby too. I would have helped you through that difficult time, just as I'm sure you would have helped me." Ross smiled sympathetically as tears began to well up in his eyes.  
"I am so sorry!" Rachel burst out crying. "I loved you so much that I was afraid you were going to leave me because I lost your child. I was so blindly in love that I didn't realize that by depriving myself of you, I was also depriving you, and I'm sorry because I didn't mean to hurt you. You were the love of my life and always have been. I've always unconsciously loved you, and it's true that you cannot help who you fall in love with, because although it wasn't my choice I fell madly in love with you." Rachel cried.  
"I know. I fell deeply in love with you before I realized it. But what matters, is you're here now." Ross said as he hugged her tightly to his wet body. They were both cold, but all they felt was warmth. They stood there hugging in the middle of the empty sidewalk for what seemed like mere minutes, but before they knew it, darkness had fallen upon them.  
  
6 months later.  
"I'm having these headaches--- really bad ones. I can't seem to get rid of them... and I'm hallucinating stuff." Ross complained to his best friend.  
"Well, maybe we should go see a doctor." Rachel said to him as they sat in his office at the museum.  
"I- I think I should." Ross said.  
"Well maybe we can have hot, passionate sex and go at it right on the floor." Rachel said seductively.  
"What?" Ross asked, stunned.  
"I didn't say anything." Rachel looked confused.  
"Yes you did-you just said... Oh." Ross said. "Oh crap, I'm having hallucinations again."  
"Okay..." Rachel said slowly. "You call the doctor... I gotta go back to work. I'll see you at dinner."   
"Okay, see ya." Ross said as he picked up the phone and dialed.  
  
"So Ross, what seems to be the problem?" His doctor asked him.  
"Well, I get really bad headaches, and it's almost constant. I also hallucinate a lot, and I seem to be developing a stutter. It's very rare, but sometimes it overpowers me, and no matter how hard I try I can't get a word out." Ross explained.  
"Well, we'd like to run some tests, get a couple of x-rays, and then we'll call you tomorrow with the results. For now, just try to take it easy. Take the day off maybe. It might be stress or exhaustion. Just sleep on it, and try not to worry about it." The doctor smiled at him reassuringly. "So.. hallucinations, huh? Are they naked?"   
Ross smiled up at him and nodded slightly.  
  
"So what exactly is wrong?" Rachel asked him later that night at dinner.  
"They have no idea. They just ran some tests and they're going to let me know if anything's wrong tomorrow." Ross shrugged his shoulders.  
"Is everything alright?" The waitress came around to ask.  
"Yes it's fine." Rachel smiled politely at her.  
"Would you like to come in the back room with me?" The waitress said as she turned to Ross.  
Ross stared blankly open mouthed at the waitress while she looked on, confused.  
"He's fine." Rachel shooed away the waitress. "You had another one, didn't you?"   
"I had another what?" Ross asked innocently.  
"That was the same look you gave me when you had that hallucination earlier." Rachel said.  
"Yeah, she asked me if I'd go to the backroom with her." Ross smiled sheepishly.  
Rachel laughed heartily. "And?"  
"And then you told her to go away." Ross joked.  
"Oh." Rachel laughed.   
"They're becoming more frequent." Ross moaned into his hands.  
"You'll be okay." Rachel assured him  
"I hope so. I just got my life back with you, even though you're still married to that lousy doctor." Ross joked as he usually did.  
"Well you know I'd leave him in a second for you!" Rachel joked back. They constantly joked about their friendship. Rachel's husband had been doubtful about Rachel spending so much time with an ex-boyfriend, but after he had gotten to know Ross, and had learned all that they had been through, he had started to like him. Even Rachel's son, Colin, loved Ross. Every time Ross would come over, he'd shout "Uncle Ross" at the top of his lungs, which always made Ross smile.  
After dinner that night, Ross walked Rachel home, stopping in to say hi to her husband and son, then saying he was tired, said he was heading home. He kissed Rachel goodnight and instead of going straight home, he decided to take a walk through Central Park. He pulled on his baby blue pullover, and stuck his hands in his pockets. It was a cool night, and the breeze made it cooler, but he didn't mind. It was a rare moment when he had time to himself between all of his friends. He decided that he was well off. He loved so many people, and they all loved him back. He just wished he wasn't always so lonely.  
  
  
Hey, sorry about the lousy ending to this chapter, but I promise I'll continue it as soon as I can. The more reviews I get, the faster I'll be inspired and the faster my fingers will typeJ Anyhow, thanks for reading and please leave a review  
-rossandrachelforever aka (robertdowneyjrlover) 


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